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	<title>modernguy</title>
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		<title>Modernguy Weekly Column Returns</title>
		<description><![CDATA[A new Modernguy column has been posted.  I&#8217;m looking forward to returning to the weekly column grind -  I feel really refreshed after that 10 year break.  Enjoy!  And read all my new and classic columns here.
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		<link>http://www.modernguy.com/169/modernguy-weekly-column-returns/</link>
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		<title>A Night On the Town</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I recently took my wife out for drinks.  Hey, don’t look so surprised — I’m as spontaneous and romantic as the next guy (assuming the next guy is Fred Flintstone).  So after work one Friday, I looked into my wife’s eyes, smiled boyishly, and said, “We’re out of toilet paper, dear.”
That’s how we [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.modernguy.com/166/a-night-on-the-town/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Mmm&#8230;Bacon!</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Happy International Bacon Day!
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		<link>http://www.modernguy.com/74/mmm-bacon/</link>
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		<title>Gali the Alligator</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Finally, a puppet show that doesn&#8217;t &#8220;talk down&#8221; to kids (but does give them nightmares and the need for years of expensive counseling).

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		<link>http://www.modernguy.com/72/gali-the-alligator/</link>
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		<title>Sick and Crabby</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve come to the conclusion that watching a TV Food Network show about preparing crabs while suffering from the flu isn&#8217;t a great idea.   I was never a big fan of crabs (sometimes called &#8216;icky giant sea beetles&#8217;), but now I&#8217;m not sure I&#8217;ll be able to watch Sponge Bob Square Pants ever [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.modernguy.com/66/sick-and-crabby/</link>
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		<title>Internet reaches middle age, yells at kids to get off lawn</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Forty years ago today computer scientists at the University of California, Los Angeles, established a network connection between two computers, creating the very first node of what we now know as the Internet.  I&#8217;m guessing the first email offering cheap Viagra was received 2 or 3 minutes later.
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		<link>http://www.modernguy.com/64/internet-reaches-middle-age-yells-at-kids-to-get-off-lawn/</link>
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		<title>In his defense, the mower had a blade</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Man arrested for shooting his own lawnmower:
A Milwaukee man who shot his malfunctioning lawn mower in a fit of possibly drunken rage faces a felony weapons charge, authorities say.
Police arrested Keith Walendowski, 57, Friday after officers said they found an illegal short-barreled shotgun and a handgun along with ammunition for both in his basement, the [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.modernguy.com/59/in-his-defense-the-mower-had-a-blade/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Finally, a reason to go to Vegas</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The World&#8217;s Largest   Buffet:
Forty soups, 100 salads and 150 desserts perched   upon a 500-foot (152-meter) maze of tables.
It was enough &#8212; 510 different dishes in all &#8212; to qualify   on Tuesday for a Guinness record for the World&#8217;s Largest   Buffet.
&#8220;I&#8217;m interested in trying some of the desserts [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.modernguy.com/56/finally-a-reason-to-go-to-vegas/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>The next FOX reality show</title>
		<description><![CDATA[How about &#8220;When Super Models Attack&#8220;?
 Supermodel diva Naomi Campbell went ballistic on her assistant Thursday, flinging a cell phone at her assistant&#8217;s head, sending her to the hospital, police said.
The 41-year-old assistant wound up with four stitches and the 35-year-old Campbell, among the highest paid models in the world, wound up at the Midtown [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.modernguy.com/58/the-next-fox-reality-show/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>That&#8217;s not Mountain Dew</title>
		<description><![CDATA[A convenience store clerk pleaded no contest Thursday to felony charges of  tampering after he urinated in a bottle of soda that was later drunk by a  customer who became violently sick.
Link
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		<link>http://www.modernguy.com/57/thats-not-mountain-dew/</link>
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