So it’s been a bit more than a week since I posted my last column. But I have a really good excuse: My dog ate it.
OK, I don’t have a dog. And my cat will only eat one certain brand of very expensive cat food that she has flown in from France.
The truth is, I [...]

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Today’s consumer topic: Shopping in the nude.
More and more people are trying to get me to shop in my bathrobe. Or in my underwear. Or even in the nude (for our southern readers: neckid). It’s pretty obvious that these people have never seen me in an undressed or semi-dressed condition, or they would be recommending [...]

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My Christmas gift list is taking shape nicely, thank you very much. So far, The List includes a 31 inch TV, a DVD player, digital camera, some overpriced Microsoft software, a memory card for my handheld PC, a cell phone, a new printer, and a color Gameboy.
I’ll probably get a tie.
Not that I care. I’m [...]

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I’ve added yet another item to my list of things you should never let another person do to your body:
Number 97: Never let another person freeze part of your head with liquid nitrogen.
The thing about liquid nitrogen is that it’s cold. Really cold. In fact, according to the Discovery channel, [...]

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I’ve decided to get rich on the Internet.
It took me some time to make this decision. For awhile I was just kind of thinking about becoming “well off” or maybe “financially independent”, but I finally decided that “rich” was the way to go.
I don’t have all the details worked out yet, but I’m sure things [...]

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OK readers, it’s time to announce the winner of last week’s “Official Modern Guy Millennium Countdown Contest”. This was a tough decision, considering the astounding amount of entries I received (three, or approximately three more than I expected).
To recap, first prize in the contest is official prize check number 458091154 issued by Harlequin Enterprises Limited [...]

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Now that I have won the cash prize in a major sweepstakes, I’m trying to just go on with life as usual.
This task is somewhat simplified by the fact that my cash prize is a check for fifty cents. It was sent to me by the generous folks at Harlequin Enterprises Limited. That’s the same [...]

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While channel surfing recently, I came across a show on the Discovery Channel that was discussing (STOP reading this! Unless you want to be totally creeped out for the rest of your life, you will NOT want to read the rest of this column! Trust me, I wrote it, and I’m not going to read [...]

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The Japanese have concocted yet another clever plan to dominate the world. This latest invasion force consists of deceptively cute cartoon characters known collectively as “Pokemon”. If you haven’t heard of Pokemon, you obviously do not have any young children.
It all started a few years ago when hundreds of Japanese children began having seizures while [...]

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As parents, one of our greatest desires is that our children have more than we did growing up. Although my children are only aged 4 and 5, I’m pretty much done as a parent by these standards. My kids already have much more than I had when I was in my twenties. My late twenties.
For [...]

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