My dad recently underwent a short hospital stay and a scary “heart catheterization” procedure to find out if his ticker was all clogged up. They threaded a wire through his groin up into his heart just to look around a bit. Less than a week later, he was frying a whole turkey in [...]

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My latest purchase in the category of “things I don’t need, but go ahead and buy on eBay without telling my wife first” is an optical mouse. To be precise, I bought a “Microsoft IntelliEye Optical Wheel Mouse”. In case you don’t know, an optical mouse is a mouse without a ball. A few years [...]

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OK, lets say you’re walking down the street minding your own business, and all of a sudden someone shoots you in a very sensitive area (Dearborn, Michigan). Well, it’s your lucky day…as long as you end up at Dearborn’s Oakwood Hospital, which has just started guaranteeing service in 30 minutes or less.
According to a [...]

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I have a very bad feeling. My wife says it’s probably just gas, but I’m thinking it has to do with some of the disturbing actual news items I’ve been coming across lately.
For example, according to a Reuters news story, Jose Rojas Mayarita (pronounced “Bob”), age 39, got a big surprise after he hooked [...]

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It’s time our government finally accepted responsibility for an important issue that’s been ignored far too long. I am speaking, of course, about the need for weather-control machines.
I mean, come on. Here we are in the 21st century, and we can’t even have rain when we want it.
And I’ve been really wanting some rain lately. [...]

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I can swim. Really, I can.
I just choose not to. I simply don’t like swimming very much.
I’m not saying you should never swim. If you ever find yourself in really deep water with no means of flotation, swimming is definitely an option worth considering.
My wife loves to swim. She has spent a [...]

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This week’s column deals with the closely related topics of hail storms, new televisions, and really bad service.
It all started with a hail storm, which managed to ding up our car pretty good. So we set up an appointment with our insurance adjuster. And to our surprise, we got great service!
No kidding! [...]

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eBay may be the most addictive web site on the Internet today. At the very least, it’s the most addictive web site not featuring Pamela Anderson Lee “before and after” pictures.
I know I’m addicted in a big way (to eBay, not Pamela pics…really!). I have been eBaying for just a few months, but I’m ready [...]

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I have a new bicycle. I’ll give you the technical specifications: It’s white.
I’ve managed to go almost my entire adult life without any exercise at all, not counting the time I ran in the local St Patrick’s Day 5K race. I figure any exercise that begins with losing a bet and ends with an ambulance [...]

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Joe Shockley has been writing humor on the web since 1999, in a variety of paid and unpaid capacities (mostly unpaid, of course). He takes a sideways look at living in the modern world.

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